Diary 3 - Frustration, and more frustration
26 November 1992
Affordable, attractive and, most important, on the river, Ham impresses me so much that I overlook its poor transport links. Afterward, I am glad I did not buy there.
My offer - subject to survey as well as contract - on the ex-council house I've dubbed ChequeredPast, has been accepted. But for the Christmas completion date that both sides want, much can go wrong. It does.
I raid all my high street building societies and banks seeking information on interest rates as well as small-print details such as early-redemption penalties. One building society's computer keeps crashing and, in another, the manager answers my questions by giving me a brochure containing print so small and hard to read that, in fact, I don't read it.
A third building society - let's call it the Lousy - has an attractive five-year fixed-rate mortgage, emphasises its efficient service, and has a personable manager who seems to embody the claim. Mortgage approval, he beams, normally takes a mere two days.
He kindly signs me up for a homebuyer’s survey and Lousy insurance. Unfortunately I did not ask for, or consent to, either the survey or the insurance and I make him remove these items. He has rapidly converted my trust to suspicion.
27 November
Survey time. Homebuyer’s report versus the more thorough but pricier full structural survey? ChequeredPast is an end-terrace about 75 years old. I have no idea what kind of survey I should commission.
Impulsively, and not a little embarrassed, I ask an estate agent near my rental flat for free advice. The bemused agent thinks that ChequeredPast requires only a homebuyer's survey. She also tells me that a building society’s surveyor needn't be a remote figure operating in the shade. I can contact him, ask questions, be involved.
30 November
Instead of waiting for Lousy’s survey, I obtain the phone numbers of three local surveyors through the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors. One is immediately available, inexpensive, and doesn't object to my being present during the survey.
1 December
This surveyor finds woodworm but no dry or wet rot, no subsidence, no serious problems in a house that is otherwise sound and well-built.
2 December
My accountant tells me that Lousy now wants data on my current earnings in addition to the previous three years that I had to supply because I am self-employed. At the very beginning I had volunteered to supply this data, but the Lousy manager told me it would not be necessary.
Lousy has long exceeded its two-day approval time. I ring the manager and offer to cancel the application. He replies that cancellation won't be necessary as he will make inquiries and ring me later. He doesn't ring. Perhaps he'll ring first thing tomorrow.
Needing to instruct a solicitor, I am tempted by schemes that charge £200 or less but, knowing that I will be a demanding client, I opt for a local firm charging £400. I pay my solicitor a £100 deposit enabling him to start the local council search. I also inform him that I will want to see the deeds and all other relevant documents.
3 December
The expected phone call from Lousy does not come
4 December
9:30am – Lousy’s branch manager tells me that my mortgage approval is in the hands of the Lousy area manager. I ring the manager directly and ask when I can expect a decision. Soon, he replies.
10:30am - The branch manager phones and tells me approval has been granted.
11:30am - The branch manager withdraws his earlier approval. He has discovered another item that he needs to check.
12:30pm - I phone the area manager, explain my exasperation, and ask if he will refund my fee and cancel the application. He agrees to do so.
12:31pm - The branch manager asks me to reconsider. I do, and reinstate the application. He conducts his final check. I pass. Is my mortgage now approved? No. He has now found yet another item which needs investigation.
5 December
The final check appears to be the final, final check. But Lousy's prevarications have finally driven me round the bend and I withdraw my application. I'll have to start all over again, but Christmas completion hopes have been dashed, so a slight delay now won't matter much.
Building society number four. Do branch managers work on Saturdays? Armed with a Nope Building Society application, a telephone directory, and patience, I ring round and locate a branch manager on only my second attempt. I tell him the whole Lousy story. He chuckles and assures me that Nope approval definitely only takes a week. I submit my application - with fee.
7 December
The surveyor's written report arrives. It barely covers two pages. I send a copy to my solicitor who agrees that it is slender and notes the absence of some standard information (such as the age of the house). My survey was inexpensive. Apparently I got what I paid for.
11-15 December
Despite its brevity, my survey forms the basis of a letter I send to ChequeredPast's owner with a low offer price. This offer is based on problems uncovered by the survey: roof tiles, gutters and gutter valleys, chimneys, and corroded window casements, among others. My revised price is slightly low, and the seller counters with a price that is slightly high. In this way we compromise in an elegant process that has more in common with dancing than business.
21-28 December
After enduring two weeks of silence, I ring Nope and learned that the manager has taken the week off. My application is somewhere in the system. A few days later I withdraw my application and, given that my cancellation was due to their incompetence, insist on my application fee being refunded. (Nope does return the fee, but reluctantly, and only after I send several letters to Nope headquarters.)
29 December
New mortgage attempt: a bank (my local branch) instead of a building society. I tell the mortgage advisor the whole story and he chuckles, telling me that his bank's approval truly takes two days. I've heard that somewhere before. I submit an application. The mortgage clerk gives me a package of mortgage material minus the insurance brochure: they have run out of stock but expect a new supply soon. [I don’t know it yet, but the lack of the insurance brochure will result in yet another cockup and frustration.]
31 December
Less than 48 hours after applying, the representative phones informing me that my mortgage has been approved. Happy new year.
Adapted from What Mortgage, July 1993